Sunday, 20 October 2013

How to write a kick ass essay... super fast

Ok, I'm going to start today with an apology. I've not blogged since August and I AM SO SORRY! I've just had a billion different things going on, so I apologise for not entertaining (not sure if I actually do that, but I'm gonna go with it anyway) you! Blame sixth form and silly teachers giving me 24.6 essays a week... ha, you'd think I was doing A-Levels or something.

Anyway, today is Sunday (I know my observation skills are fab,;you don't need to tell me) and everyone probably has that Sunday feeling of hangovers and having school/work tomorrow. I also imagine that your Saturday was not taken up with doing all the work that you have to do. Therefore, I am now going to tell you how to get your work done really really fast so you can go chill out at Costa or wherever the cool kids go these days. 

(Quick note : If any of my teachers find this, hi I definitely do not do this, I spend hours doing my essays because I am a very very good student, yepp that's me) 

Right, so here we go... The first thing to do when writing an essay is to get rid of anything that could distract you. Music is okay if you can work with music, but not if you're going to start belting power ballads out instead of writing, because that's really not going to help anything. Make sure the TV is off. Most Sunday's I sit there trying to write an essay with Hollyoaks on and I've written about two lines by the time it has finished, so seriously, don't have the TV on! It's better to turn everything off for half an hour and to get the essay done, rather than keep it on, but only half watch it, and still not be done three hours later... yeah, you know I'm right. 


So, once you've started, I advise kind of half planning what you're going to write in each paragraph. It doesn't need to be very complicated at all; it will just stop you from forgetting... eg the politics essay that I am supposed to be writing right now looks like this...
  •  self-nomination
  •  no need for a party base 
  •  split ticket voting 
  •  pressure groups work with parties 
  •  always have been weak
  • broad churches 
I know that will mean nothing to you, but you won't forget what you're planning on writing in each paragraph. Trust me, it helps you get through it in lightening speed, just like Lightening McQueen...

When you write each paragraph, use Google for extra stuff, because you'll get approximately a billion extra marks* for it and it uses up space, making your essay look better. (Please note that I put LOOK... don't forget quality is always better than quantity!) It's a win win situation really. Plus, it also makes you look SUPER clever when you're quoting stuff that isn't in the course, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking super clever. It actually makes a nice change... :') A tip for anybody who is studying US Politics right now - use the government shutdown in EVERY SINGLE essay you write!

*results may vary

Right, I'm going to stop now, because I'm not going to sit here and explain how to write an essay because I'd hope that you already knew how to do that. If you do these though, then hopefully you'll finish your essay really quick and you won't miss Strictly.. yay. I'm going to use these tips right now and finish my politics essay really quick.

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